


Greater than words

by xcinnx



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: I tried my best, M/M, NCT Dream - Freeform, chensung is a thing, indulging in my love for one huang renjun basically, mute!renjun, ot6 loving renjun, squint for markhyuck, subtle norenmin, verrry subtle
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-19
Updated: 2018-06-19
Packaged: 2019-05-25 12:38:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14977328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xcinnx/pseuds/xcinnx
Summary: Renjun never learned how to use his words but it’s quite alright, he doesn’t need them around his friends.





	Greater than words

**Author's Note:**

> hello if you don't know my ult NCT bias is renjun and I just had to make this. I'm sorry for any mistakes this was a pain to proof read ;-; hope you enjoy!

Renjun has never heard his own voice. But he lives with it just fine, albeit sometimes it was hard to communicate with strangers who could not understand why he would be furiously typing into his phone instead of just opening his mouth to talk. It was beyond frustrating when he would be rejected from jobs because he was ‘defected’. It was heartbreaking when his brother, Chenle, looked up at him with those eyes that were waiting for something, anything to come out of Renjun’s mouth and it was scary when 7 year old Renjun was pushed around for being a ‘freak’. It used to haunt him, all the bitter memories and words thrown at him taunting him even when he closes his eyes but he lives with it. He lives with it just like how someone would live with a missing arm or a missing leg: just fine and dandy. Although sometimes he still gets fed up whenever Donghyuck says, “who in this world even says dandy anymore?!” but he lives with it, it’s all he can do anyways.

However sometimes there were just some people who liked to get on his nerves, but he’s just glad that he has 6 great friends (“Excuse me, I’m not just a friend I’m your best friend,” Donghyuck grumbles) there to back him up and be his voice when he needs it.

-

Renjun opens his eyes, squinting at the bright light that’s hurting his eyes. Groggily, he pushes himself up to a seating position, feeling slightly light-headed from doing so. Shaking his head to get rid of the sensation, he takes in his surroundings. A long hallway stretches out in front of him, white walls flanking either side as bright fluorescent lights glow above him. It reminds Renjun of a hospital hallway and he shivers involuntarily. Seeing the huge ‘Exit’ sign above the door at the end of the hallway, he quickly stands up and walks towards it, wanting to get out as fast as he can. He walks for a while before he realises that the distance between him and the door has been the same since he started walking. Startled, Renjun picks up the pace, taking large steps as he power walks forward. However, the further he walks the further the door feels, almost as if the door is actively avoiding him. He feels the hairs standing on the back of his neck as a sense of unease washes over him. He clenches both hands into fists, feeling them turn clammy as he starts sprinting towards the door, heartbeat speeding up drastically. The door immediately moves further and further as if to taunt him. Panic wells up at the back of his throat, fear gripping his heart as he sprints faster. He hears his heart beat loud and clear, breaths coming out in short gasps as he runs with all he has towards the exit. Suddenly, the lights above him start to flicker, the walls seemingly closing in on him and Renjun panics, running so fast his legs burn as he rushes towards the exit that just keeps getting further and further. Then the lights above him fizzle out, plunging the hallway into darkness. Renjun nearly trips over himself as he stops running. Feeling his heart beat wildly in his ears, Renjun looks around with wide eyes, shaking so hard he can barely stand straight. Suddenly, a huge towering figure rushes towards Renjun and he lets out an inhumane scream, shooting up in his bed before he realises. He realises that he just had a nightmare.

He glances at the clock, it reads: 3.13am. He lets out a breath, trying his best to calm down as he wipes his sweaty hands on his blanket. Just then, a soft knock on his door startles Renjun out of his trance. He snaps his head up to stare at the door, a wave of panic rushing over him again. ‘Am i still dreaming?”, he thinks, before a small hand pushes the door open and his brother steps in, hugging a huge panda close to his chest. Chenle, his brother, looks at him with teary eyes, lower lip trembling.

“Ge, I had a nightmare but Ma and Pa were sleeping and I, I just-”, he hiccups, burying his head into the panda. Renjun immediately jumps out of bed and scoops up the small 11 year old into his arms, tucking him in and brushing through his hair gently until Chenle stops crying. For the time being, Renjun throws his own sorrows and fears away as he gently coaxes Chenle back to sleep. Listening to Chenle’s breathing, Renjun slowly drifts off with the remains of his tears still shining on his cheeks. That night, he dreams of talking to Chenle with a voice of his own.

-

_Renjun ge, please help me_

Renjun dashes out the house after throwing on his coat, almost forgetting to lock the door on his way out. Taking the stairs two steps at a time, he runs to the ground floor of the apartment building and throws the door open, almost slamming his neighbour in the face. Bowing several times while apologising profusely, he steps out onto the streets. “Damnit Lele how do I find your boyfriend when Seoul has a population of like 9 million people?”, Renjun thinks, “You’re lucky I’m a good brother.” Mentally making a list of places Jisung frequents, Renjun sets off hurriedly. He barely notices the cold sneaking up his feet, their only protection being his red slippers.

Renjun mentally checks off the arcade, the coffee shop Chenle and Jisung always go to, the library and the toy store. He ruffles his hair haphazardly, standing in the middle of the street frowning down at the ground. “Where in the world would he…”, Renjun’s thoughts trail off, a light bulb suddenly going off in his head. He dashes off immediately, his slippers slapping against the concrete.

At the desolate playground, a lone figure sits on the swings, nobody else in sight as his shoes scrape against the ground. The sound of crying reaches Renjun’s ears and his heart breaks at the sight of his youngest friend’s tears falling. He tentatively takes a step towards Jisung. Jisung’s head snaps up, tearfully looking at Renjun. He collapses sobbing into Renjun’s open arms as Renjun gently strokes his hair.

After a while, Jisung’s sniffles slowly die out and he rubs at his puffy eyes, looking at Renjun sadly. Renjun digs his hand into his pocket, fishing out his phone. His fingers flying over the screen as he taps away at a message.

_You okay?_

Jisung hesitates, before shaking his head.

_Wanna talk about it?_

Jisung stares at Renjun, doubt clear in his eyes.

_It’s okay if you don’t want to_

“I do, I just…”, Jisung trails off, looking down at his shoes. Renjun taps his shoulder.

_Don’t know where to start?_

Jisung nods slowly, awkwardly.

_Why did you run out?_

“I...I was scared, I guess”

_Of what?_

“Hurting Lele”

Renjun’s heart softens a little around the edges at Jisung’s words.

_Why would you?_

“I said some mean things…”

_Then go apologise Jisung-ah_

“I’m scared hyung...what if he hates me now?”

_He could never, he loves you more than me now :)_

Jisung cracks a small smile at that.

_Go apologise, he’ll forgive you, trust me_

Renjun reaches up with his hand, using his sleeve to swipe away the remnants of Jisung’s tears, before patting him squarely on the back, smiling warmly. Jisung pulls him into one last hug. “Thank you Renjun hyung”, he murmurs next to Renjun’s ear, before jogging off back to Chenle. Renjun sighs, slowly getting up from his squatting position, straightening his back and squaring his shoulders. His shirt still damp from Jisung’s tears, he walks home slowly, refusing to think about the snot left on his shoulder.

-

“Watch it dude!”

Renjun stumbles a little as a guy, light brown hair and slightly taller, shoves him away. The drink in his hands falls out of his grip, hitting the ground with a splash, sending iced coffee flying everywhere. The guy’s lips curl up in distaste, his lip ring glinting in the sunlight as he growls. Renjun instinctively shrinks back. “That was perfectly good coffee too…”, he thinks sadly.

“What the fuck dude, now there’s fucking coffee all over my shoes, how are you going to pay for this?”, light brown haired guy demands, beady eyes glaring at Renjun. Renjun furrows his eyebrows, confusion clear on his face. “Pay? Me? You’re the one that bumped into me!”, Renjun thinks, feeling slightly annoyed. The guy sees Renjun furrowing his brows and is angered, shoving Renjun once again.

“What are you looking at kid? Aren’t you gonna answer me?”

Renjun feels his anger boiling beneath his skin. He angrily digs through his bag for his phone, fingers trembling as he types in his password.

“Hey, what do you think you’re doing?”

Both Renjun and the guy whip around to see the source of the voice, a teenage boy with jet black hair, a fierce glare on his face as he yells at them. _Jeno_. Renjun visibly heaves a sigh of relief, the anger draining out of him. Two other figures appear behind Jeno, stepping out of the cafe together. _Mark._ _Hyuck_. Light brown haired guy takes a slight step back as the three of them advance towards him, pupils darting around wildly. Jeno stands protectively in front of Renjun, Mark and Donghyuck flanking him on either sides. Renjun cracks a smile at his best friends’ goofiness.

“What were you doing pushing Renjun around like that?”, Jeno stares the guy down. Light brown haired guy puffs out his chest, sneering at Jeno.

“Your stupid little friend over there spilled coffee all over my shoes, I was just teaching him a little lesson,” he remarks, shrugging nonchalantly. Renjun sees the veins in Jeno’s neck showing as he clenches and unclenches his fists.

“By pushing him?”, Donghyuck butts in before Jeno can throw a punch.

“Well if your friend over there, Lonjin or whatever, actually used his words then it wouldn’t have happened. Can’t blame me when he doesn’t want to talk, useless dumbass,” the guy scoffs.

All the anger from before comes flowing back into Renjun. He mashes his teeth together, gritting them as he trembles in rage. Before Jeno can punch the guy in the face, Renjun grabs tightly onto Jeno’s arm, maneuvering himself to the front. He stares evenly at the guy for a good 5 seconds before he flips the middle finger at the former. Four pairs of jaws drop in surprise. Forcefully dragging Jeno along, Renjun ignores the enraged shouts from light brown haired guy. Mark and Donghyuck shrug helplessly at each other, before trailing after Renjun.

“Junnie I didn’t know you were capable of that”, Jeno laughs breathlessly.

Mark and Donghyuck both nod a few times. Renjun raises an eyebrow, typing away furiously.

_I’m mute not helpless honey_

Jeno flushes as he reads the text. Renjun thinks he looks cute all flustered, not that he would ever admit it to anyone.

-

A loud crash sounds out from the kitchen, followed by shouts of “Mark!” and “Hyung!”. Renjun sighs helplessly, thinking, “So much for letting me rest by doing the cooking Mark”. He slowly gets up from the couch, almost tripping over Jaemin’s sprawled legs on the floor. Kicking one of them slightly, he ignores the noise of protest from Jaemin as he makes his way to the kitchen. He steps in cautiously, seeing an overturned bowl of fruits on the floor, Jisung and Donghyuck standing frozen off to the side and Mark staring wide-eyed at the scattered fruits, a pair of scissors in hand. He sighs. Using his hands, he motions for all of them to get out, shoving Mark lightly in the direction of the door, who finally breaks out of his trance. Mark looks at Renjun sadly, pouting slightly, “I’m so sorry Junnie”.

Renjun scrunches his nose up in disgust.

_Is that the face you make at Hyuck everyday? Why is he still with you?_

Renjun waves his phone in Mark’s face. Mark splutters, turning bright red as he fumbles for words to say. Sighing, he pushes Mark out of the kitchen, shutting the door behind him. Rolling up his sleeves, Renjun gets to work.

“Renjun you’re the best!”, Jaemin cheers happily as he munches on his food. Renjun shushes him, pretending to look annoyed but the small smile on his face betrays him. Jaemin grins, going back to the movie. Chenle and Jisung exchange glances, but none of them comment on it. Halfway through their second movie, Renjun glances around to see most of them dozing off. He nudges Donghyuck, who turns off the tv and announces that its time to sleep. They all crawl into the makeshift bed on the living room floor, hands and feet struggling to find space as the bed instantly becomes packed, all of them squeezed like sardines in a can. Renjun dozes off sandwiched between Jeno and Jaemin.

Renjun wakes up to a long hallway and an exit sign. He knows what is coming, but it does nothing to make his fear any less real when he jolts up, breaths coming out in short gasps and sweat making his shirt stick to his body. He gets up shakily, noting that Jeno’s side of the bed is empty as he makes his way to the well-lit kitchen. As expected, he finds Jeno sitting at the dining table, staring off into space with a glass of water by his side. Jeno turns towards Renjun in surprise.

“I didn’t expect anyone to be up at this hour, its 3am Junnie,” He whispers softly.

Renjun only shrugs, mouthing the word ‘nightmare’ as he goes to grab his own glass of water.

“You okay?”

He sets the glass of water down. Jeno’s question sinks into him, feeling all the years of anger and anxiety and frustration buried deep inside bubble up to the surface. A wave of sadness crashes into him, the catalyst that causes the pot of emotions bubbling inside Renjun to overflow. All of his struggles captured in the neverending tears flowing down his face. Jeno panics, getting up so suddenly he almost trips over his own feet. He wraps his arms around Renjun’s small frame, hugging him tightly. Renjun clenches both fists in Jeno’s shirt tightly, so tightly that his knuckles turn white. Burying his face into Jeno’s shoulder, Renjun lets his tears flow freely. Suddenly, a pair of arms sneak themselves around Renjun’s waist, the warmth of another body faintly registering somewhere in Renjun’s mind. Jaemin and Jeno communicate silently with their eyes, both holding tightly onto Renjun as he unravels.

Renjun wipes his tears silently as Jeno goes to change shirts. The three of them stumble back into the makeshift bed, Jeno and Jaemin cuddling Renjun sweetly. They fall asleep with all the unspoken promises and confessions at the tips of their tongues, waiting to be heard.

That night, Renjun dreams of honey and strawberries, then wonders if Jaemin’s and Jeno’s lips would taste the same.


End file.
